"Alarm"

Recent days have followed a strict schedule.

Drink coffee until nauseous.
Write until cross-eyed.
Become agitated: twenty minutes to sunset, and I haven't left the house.
Go for an aimless stroll (aka the Pensioner's Shuffle).

I should have another forty years in which to perfect my Pensioner's Shuffle, but the Escalade of Doom will surely get me before retirement does. Oh, people of Los Angeles -- won't you please check for Ped Xing when you turn right on a red? 

Taking the lift downstairs in our apartment building, I'm reassured to see they've removed the sign saying

PLEASE DO NOT DEFECATE, URINATE OR REGURGITATE IN THE ELEVATOR

and I'm almost reassured by the permanent plaque that tells me

Should the elevator stop,
Or become otherwise unresponsive
Do Not become Alarmed.
Press the button marked "Alarm"
And wait for assistance.  
.
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